It's a grey Christmas....

Christmas....aaah...that time of the year when the roads and trees and houses and cars are covered in many inches of thick snow and little kiddies are making snow angles on the ground....

well not quite...

there hasn't been an inch of snow so far and the only thing close to snow is in my fridge...(though i suspect that is more because my fridge is having problems than anything else). It snowed for like 10 mins a few days back (and this was exactly when i was running to catch a bus at 6 in the morning....i hear it stopped the moment i got into the bus...and then the sun came out and the fraction of an inch of snow had melted away before you could say "Snow")

All that I see now is grey skies and cold rain and chilly winds!

How is that Christmas??

Look i'm an Indian....but I like Christmas and I come to Liverpool expecting to have a bunch of snow to make my own versions of Calvin and Hobbes morbid snowmen...(the cat belonging to the man downstairs must be happy knowing that I didn't make a fake snow mouse for it to hunt....damn!!)....so it's not fair to take that away from me you know!! I mean if you are going to be cold as hell might as well atleast snow right!! Like in all those movies and series that i watch with a few thousand feet of snow for every Christmas....but guess what...that's just creative liberty that the producers take...snow doesn't really happen like that...not anymore anyway....

There might actually be something to the Global Warming thing.....generations to come will never know the connection between snow and a carrot! But screw them....I am more worried that my dream of building the most awesome snow man ever will never be fulfilled...and that's not cool!! It was the main reason I even decided to do my MBA in a snowy country in the first place....and now....no snow!! i mean...come on!!

Looks like I have to satisfy myself with the snow substitute for now...in my fridge...whcih isn't much by the way....

Aah well...guess my Jack Frost expectations were a bit much then....

Ethos?? What Pathos!!

"Our Ethos are important to us!" That's his argument to get internet companies to censor content on the web in India.

As if the regular parade (and charade) by MNS, Shiv Sena and every other Vanar Sena out there on Valentine's Day, couples on the road, on their bikes, in their homes etc was not enough, now they want to make sure you cannot put up anything "offensive" on the internet!!

And offensive to him, and what started this whole witch hunt, is an apparent photograph of Sonia Gandhi which he and the rest of the "I am Sonia Gandhi's bitch" brigade did not like. Having not seen the photo, I cannot comment on it, but no matter what it's hardly a reason to turn it into a national sentiment argument. Guess what....I don't give a crap!! And neither does anybody else! It's Sonia Gandhi for crying out loud! Now if it was Katrina Kaif, I can understand the logic behind wanting to atleast see the picture, but Sonia Gandhi??

He even goes so far as to say that he wants Facebook, Google and other sites to provide data as to where the picture was uploaded from, who did it etc etc. What is this? The CIA? or old school KGB?? What happened to privacy and my rights to free speech and all that? Yes, I get the argument about inciting communal feelings, but surely this is not the answer! And you aren't even doing it for that reason...you are doing it purely to satisfy your bosses and cement your place in the government! If you read his interviews, he doesn't even try to make it sound like he actually cares about anything to do with the country and has a valid argument for his demands. You are a lawyer, are you not Mr. Sibal?? Surely, you must know you are making no sense!!

And where does he get off saying that he wants to protect the sentiments of the nation?? I never understand this moral policing that politicians take it upon themselves to engage in wrt the country and the people. Who are you to decide what is morally the stand of the county? Who are you to stand up and claim responsibility to protect the country? And are we, as a people, so weak that we cannot decide for ourselves what is right and wrong and good and bad that we need you to herd us in the right direction?? Surely a nation that has produced pulitzer prize winners and nobel prize winners and sport champions and business leaders and technology giants can trust its people to make sound judgements on a moral level! And, when you start comparing the "western culture" and the complaining about the nudity and sex that is "corrupting our young minds" and "going against our culture" I have to ask you.....ever heard of Kama Sutra?? Or was that a result of "western influence" as well, even in days when they did not have cable telelvision??

But most importantly, there are so many other real issues you should be campaigning for! Corruption for starters. And I don't mean the moral kind either. I am talking about the good old materialistic version. Surely, your effort is better spent working to eliminate that! Or is that in our culture? Seeing as everybody anyways associated the government with bribes, delays, in-efficiency and everything else that is a malaise, wouldn't your time be better spent trying to change that image? Or do you see this "moral policing" as an opportunity to line your pockets further? Will you back down if these internet companies offer "donations" to "the government's efforts to curb such activities"?

What we need Mr. Sibal, from you in your current post as Telecoms and IT Minister is to give us increased broadband speeds, better mobile services, higher connectivity and such other serious infrastructure changes that will actually impact more than the 1 person in the country. So why don't you actually use your post to make a positive difference as opposed to chasing after alleged photos that makes no difference to anybody...

Oh and by the way....#IdiotKapilSibal is now trending on Twitter...maybe we should ban that as well? What say?

Change is a good thing??

As I ride back in a rickshaw from a trip to get a change of hairstyle, I start thinking about change and my life online. Don't ask me how they are related, but the mind goes where it goes and there isn't much you can do about it. So then, "Change is the only constant" they say....and it's almost like websites the world over are out to prove the point (or disprove it..depending on which side of the fence you are on...)

First there was facebook. They really took this to heart by introducing a new interface every day. Look your posts now appear in chronological order. And look now, your friends are tagged along with your posts so everything is viral. And look, even better, news feed is now the main section on your profile. Maybe we'll move your photos to a different format. You know what, why don't we move your photos to your wall in a format that will chronologically tag all your friends while they feed you news!! Ok, I might have got the last one a bit wrong, but you get the point....

Off late, its google who've taken to ripping my digital world as i knew it apart and rearranging the furniture...almost like Darren Sammy's stumps in the India-West Indies series..

First they change the google home page with a drop down that collapses and then drops back down if you mistakenly run your mouse somewhere near the top of the page. And now Youtube looks like a facebook page now.....

And I don't like it!

I mean, I like my pages to all look different so that I know where one site ends and the other begins. So if everyhting looks like everything else, it is really painful to organise my life. Yes, users should have ease of navigation and movement from one site to the other in the new completely digital world and all that...but I like my life as it is!! Don't change it!!

If you want to bring in something new, bring in SIRI.. now that is something I can get used to. The cheeky responses to questions like "What is the meaning of life??", that alone will make it worth it. But otherwise, don't move the pieces of the puzzle around...I have so many other things happening in my life, I come here for some semblance of stability! My site cannot stop co-operating with me on an important project, stop talking to me, not give me that promotion i deserve, not give me a loan and so on and so forth. It is dependable....SO DON'T CHANGE IT!!

But, alas, I know I am probably the only voice crying out for no change in a world obsessed with it. And as if to prove my point, the auto driver turns towards me when I hand him the money and says..."Change hai??"...

Hanh hai...thoda zyada hai...sigh!!

Occam's Razor

No....Occam's is not a brand like Gillette...and no this is not a blog about my experiences during shaving.....in any way, shape or form....

It is, as the name suggests, a quest for answers......

Not really.....but I would like to raise a few questions.....

But before I go there...let me atleast explain my blog title...right? Now Occam's Razor is a very simple principle...."The simplest explanation is probably the right one"

Now that sounds simple enough right?....but it invariably never works in life now, does it? Too simple an explanation makes you wonder, is that really true? Can that be possible? Is that the right thing? Do I deserve life to be that simple? (Just to clarify, these are not the aforementioned questions..)

Like, if the friendly neighbourhood spider offered you a free ride.....oops sorry...did I say spider...i meant cabbie. (I can see how spider would be freaky...unless you were the citizens of Gotham city...then you would be....wait a min..was it Gotham city or Metropolis?...anyway...you get the point). Your first reaction would be to go to the guy right next to him who charges you an arm and a leg.....and a liver for good measure. Why? well because, you, me and the average Joe are not used to acts of charity now, are we? We expect to be ripped off, so surely he can't be doing this out of the goodness of his heart now, can he? The world is not full of rainbows and bunnies and babies....(ok it is full of babies..but not the other two, even in Liverpool where it rains and sun shines brightly all at the same time! you would expect rainbows galore wouldn't you....but no!!!..and for all the things they say about bunnies, where is a bunny when you are trying to disprove a point, hanh??)....

or when a major media company decides to start their own social network thingy....the obvious thing is, you tried it once, it didn't work. there is already a site that does all that you promise and more and it is growing all the time. People are tired of having multiple networks, it is tiring. People will get bored. Stay with what you are so awesomely good at and let people be. Don't try to plus your way....(i obviously meant plug...must have been a typo)... into their lives!! But no!! we will try...complicate lives, send out invites and so on and so forth....

so...anyway....why I came to this topic is that.....I have this little thing to do...it's called a Dissertation....where I have to analyse a topic and present my recommendations after 15000 utterly boring, meaningless words! Now see, right here is where Occam's Razor would apply...

While making the course modules, somebody ought to have said..."Let the kid's get some work experience and then just write up something about it...or better still we'll just ask the employers to rate their performance" I mean it's an MBA...so what are you going to judge...how well I understand the business right?....but no!!! we want you to spend time, effort, money and well...time mainly....writing 15-goddamn-thousand words on it! Why oh why would anyone want to do that...and why -oh-why would anyone want to read that??

but...you know what....i am taking ti seriously nevertheless. It is something that needs to be done and it needs to be done right. So....i started with what it is called...a "Dissertation". Ta da!! right there...my way out....by definition, it is a "Desertation"...so I will "desert" it. And so....I haven't really gotten started! Woo hoo! Now come on...this is not my fault...U call it something that deserves desertion, then I just have to follow instructions right?....

Ah well...if only life were that simple....Or maybe it is.....

Maybe it is all about crossing the road....maybe the chicken had all the answers....you know what...i think the chicken deserves it's own post.....

End...tourage?

You want be high ...for this

...that's what the soundtrack on this promo says, and you really have to be high, to want to end this absolutely amazing series or deal with the fact that it is ending!! And even then they do it with such style....

check out this image spot....it's one of the best I have seen in a long time...



It does give you goosebumps doesn't it....

I mean move over Friends, Prison Break, HIMYM, and whatever else...This is the real deal!

And the best part is that there is no real story line overarching the whole series like most other series have to have....

It's just there....5 guys chilling, faffing, making fools of themselves, living the life and well....doing what we normal people do...but at a celebrity level!

The whole concept of a group of guys around a celebrity could have so ended up with a totally cliched series, but the writers and creators really did pull a rabbit or two out of the hat with the way they treated it...

And what else can you expect from Mark Wahlberg? The guy might have been the rather unsuccessful Marky Mark at some time, but there's no doubting him as a Hollywood superstar now!

My favourite character among the lot is still the man, the agent, the fastest talker in Hollywood...Ari Gold!!

I don't think there is another character in television who can be so acerbic, insulting and ir-reverant and yet totally likeable! Jeremy Piven has absolutely nailed the character and killed it! It's credit to Piven that the original Ari, on who the character is based, was insistent that Piven needed to play his role or noone would! And what an inspired casting it is! I just wait for Ari's scenes to see what new interesting, homo-phobic, expletive filled, long, complicated insult he comes up with!

I should also mention the brilliant score Entourage always has...I have download numerous songs just hearing them on the soundtrack. If you have any doubts just listen to the song in the video on top. All the songs are perfect for the moment, and probably ones you have not heard of before (atleast I hadn't) but still absolutely amazing!

Anyway, I can't wait till July to catch the last 8 episodes and the impending movie after that. I sincerely hope that they start missing the series towards the end and bring it back for future seasons. But I also know that it wouldn't be a wise move. Might as well go out on a high...and boy...are these guys on a high or what!!

So....I guess...you have to be high for this....

giving it 110%....yeah right!!

It's a very common phrase now isn't it? among people of all job descriptions from simple Engineers and Copywriters to slightly more complicated Team Leaders and Partners to the extremely ambiguous Country Heads (are they something like pot heads and meth heads and metal heads?) or Head of Internalized Marketing Focused on External Communication....

"....gave 110%..."

replace the "110" with:

105, 120, 150, 200, 117.36...and so on..and..

replace the "..." at the start with:

the team/employees/boys/the player/the waiter/the neighbour's dog/Sania Mirza etc....

I mean, that's not possible...u know...really..it isn't...mathematically/biologically/logically/Mohammed Ali..ok not Mohammed Ali....but you get the point.

I always feel that when someone oversells something...there's something fishy. To quote a famous Hindi saying.."there's something black in the lentils"..

so when i hear someone tell me.."you know what...this is the best we can come up with...we gave it a 110%"...I hear...."yeah...we tried, but we really had to go catch the Mahut v Isner match and hope for another marathon, but you know how it goes right, the match ended in like 2 hrs...but we were so drunk we din bother to try after the match"

Like when you see Arsenal lose to United, Chelsea, Liverpool, Swansea, Cardiff etc and then Arsene Wenger says.."the players gave 120%. You can't question their committment"...you know he's thinking.."bloody bastards lost another match. what the fuck!"

Or when Serena Williams says..."I lost because u made me play on other courts apart from court 1, 2 and center court for so long"...i hear..."whine..whine whine...oh my god i have to win and if i don't i will whine whine whine!!"....wait a minute....that had nothing to do with the topic did it? ah well anyway....

It would be nice for a change if people actually spoke the truth...

see you probably gave 90%...that's the fact....if you give 100% every minute of every day...well...unless your work day has a 30 sec 'rest-period' atleast between minutes, you can't really go past the first minute!

Think about it...if you work yourself to the death every minute, you won't have anything left to give 100% for the next minute now will you??

So you gave 90%...and you know what? that's totally acceptable! it means that you gave me 90% consistently throughout the day and I can take that as opposed to knowing that you started at 100 and then eventually ended up giving me 30 after 1 hr!! you would think people would have realised this by now!

So when you hear Dhoni talk after the 2nd test which India lose...it would be refreshing to hear him say:

"Yeah the boys gave 90% for the 3 days....except Bhaji...he gave 80% as usual...till he got a wicket. when he didn't he gave 60%. But credit to the West Indies to play with some random bunch of guys every match and still beat us convincingly"

so till next time....give your 90%!

The Malayali Christian name formula revealed...

i have to admit...this is not my doing...got this through a friend who knows a friend who knows a guy who does a thing that has nothing to do with this other thing and so on and so forth....

but it is freaking hilarious!! (and i'm pretty sure true!)

1. Select a combination of both the mother's and father's names. eg: Suresh and Sharon = Susha, or Joseph and Beena = Jobi.

2. The addition of a 'mon' (meaning son) or 'mol' (meaning daughter) is optional. eg: Sushamol, Jobimon

3. To attach a modern anglicised feel to the names, the mol or mon can be replaced with boy or girl. eg: Jobiboy, Sushagirl.

4. For the politically correct Keralite family, mol and mon can be replaced by the universal 'kutty'(child), which can be used for both boys and girls! eg: Jokutty, Susikutty

Even parents having combination names can still give their children suitable names eg: Libi and Jobi = Lijo
However, in the scenario where the parents already have combination names that cannot form more comprehensible child names. eg: Itty and Amukutty, would produce only Itam (which doesn't even sound like a name), or Amit (which is like Northie and stuff!!!!), then:

a. Use an English word like Baby, Merry, Titty, Pearly, Smiley, Anarchy, etc.

b. Use a combination of two English names that you think sound cool(but never cool enough) like Meredith + Gina = Megi, or Sharon + Darlene = Sharlene

c. Use a name from the Bible (and not Nebuchadnezzar! Use one that even Velliammachi can pronounce!) like Jacob, Sam, John, Joseph, Mathew, or Jijo!

d. Use a name that sounds like a cuss word but isn't. eg: Boben, Prussy, Shagi, JustinTimberlake etc.

Note: The use of the letter 'j' is useful in the naming of sibling where names that sound alike are a novelty. eg: Ajji, Sajji, Majji, Bhajji and Nimajji, or Sijo, Lijo, Jijo, Anjo, Panjo, Banjo

Staring into space....

....we have all done it. and we all will keep doing it. cos it's something we have to do. Come on now...don't lie. Be true to yourself...you have stared into space during that important meeting wondering about anything and everything that had nothing to do with anything and especially nothing to do with the meeting at hand....so don't pretend like you don't know what i'm talking about...

I do it a lot lately, i have realised....space does hold some rather amazing secrets and it would be great to know about it, learn it, understand it yada yada..

But the only problem is, my space is not really 'space' in the 'big black nothingness' form of things....it is actually the parking lot and the adjacent road outside my house. Quiet a nice view it is...and the topic of some intense research by me over the last few weeks...

For example i know that the lot has 230 parking spaces in the half that i can see....so extrapolating it to the whole lot i would say it has approx 450 parking spaces. thats a lot...for a hospital by the way. Of it only 90% is utilised at any point of time....the rest are empty. There are 55 cars whose number plates add upto 70 and 63 whose number plates start with 4...ok i'm kidding about the last line

but seriously....i even know that the signal on the road there is 40secs per road and approx 14 cars pass through everytime it turns....freaky right...tell me about it!!

So why does the road and parking lot suddenly hold such fascination, you ask? (well you don't ask, cos you don't really care, but for the sake of argument, lets assume that you do ask...) it's because i am ruminating the meaning of life and other such questions. No seriously....i am....why u ruminate so, you ask? Well, that...i don't have an answer to....

But i do know that the answer to life, the universe, everything...is 42. I guess that's enough for now...(Those who din get that...go watch The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which is a wholly amazing movie...it really is!)

3 days for the world to turn right side up again....

.....rather an interesting concept on Bones tonight. Well not on TV but online...but interesting nevertheless....

it's been 10 maybe 14 days...so yeah we know THAT doesn't work...

how long....

my shot at poetry....

How long to make the effort,
how long to try,
eventually you will want to give up,
but till then u prefer to fry,
But why? Seriously.....Why???

(let's hear the drumroll pls...and the applause!! Thank you thank you!! And see it's not just the rhyme, the words actually make sense..)

No Good Deed....

...Goes Unpinished...

that's it. I have nothing else to say...

Adios!

Sense of Humour....

....or is it nonsense of humour??

Picking up from my previous post, have u realised how you suddenly become really funny when you are drunk? Forget you, have you realised how the general sense of humour quotient of the whole room goes up when you are drunk? Everything is funny....even a glass of water. It's just so hilarious that there is a glass of water just sitting there...on the table...looking at you...judging....

anyway.....

...the reason i bring it up is bocs, on my way back from said trip earlier...i was stopped by the UK Border something something (I don't remember. honestly..) at the coach station. Now....to give u some background....i was drunk, and I had travelled by bus which makes u more high for some reason...and I had been listening to "Hold me, thrill me..." on the iPod...which is highly psychadelic...so I was well....buzzed...

So the guy gets into the bus before anyone can get off and says..."Please keep some incentive vacation ready cos we are changing all gravel hers" Actually that's what i heard. In hindsight, he probably said "Please keep some ID ready cos we are checking all travellers". Luckily though my lack of understanding didn't make much difference as I saw others handing him IDs and did the same (somehow sight still trumps hearing in these circumstances).

When i got to him, he looked at me and said "are you a student?". My reaction was to look him straight (or atleast as straight as I could) in the eye....for about 2 minutes. After this rather long silence, during which I had an expression like he had asked me the square root of 23, he said..."sir, are you a student?". To which I intelligently replied..."Maybe". Now let me clarify....at that time it seemed the right thing to do....i don't know who he is...so why am i answering his questions? My mother taught me not to talk to strangers....

But it wasn't a very wise choice obviously and I was asked to wait while they did a number of checks and took all details including my neighbour's pet dog's name...

The cool (read: ass freezing especially since I did not have the jacket) wind jolted me sufficiently back to reality for me to get away from there with some dignity intact. (I even managed to give them a hard time about a check earlier during which they caused a friend to miss the coach etc etc. Woo Hoo!!) I don't think they'll ever stop me again....

But......i like to think that I have a good sense of humour you know...

and i also think that it's not for everyone...

like the other day..(read: 5 hrs back)...I was talking to my friend and this is how the conversation went:

Friend: That guy is a real player
Me: I prefer Winamp

Now i was forced to apologise for what i thought was a very very intelligent joke...so i guess....it's about knowing your audience at the end of the day....

My Experiments with Truth....

....about Vodka.

Seeing as I'm no Gandhi (in any sense of the word. I'm not bald, I don't have a walking stick and I don't really care much for salt) my experiments with truth are limited to the benefits of hiding it. Manipulating it so that you only tell someone the partial truth for various reasons. That's technically not lying....

Anywho...this post has nothing to do with that....so moving along to what i actually wanted to talk about...Vodka...

I had a surreal experience yesterday aided by generous doses of the russian brew....and it made me realise a few home truths....which naturally i am keen to share. To be honest i'm not entirely sure of some of the facts...but hey! i'm sure enough to write this...so here goes....

(All people, incidents, actions, screw ups in this post are totally real to the best of my memory and any resemblance to anything living or dead, mostly living unless something has drastically changed in the last 12 hrs, is purely factual)

Lessons Learnt and Truths Realised:

1) Having a bottle of Vodka after not sleeping all night, seems like a good idea. It is not.

2) Downing the whole bottle in one go and then buying another because you still feel sane seems like an even better idea. This is definitely not.

3) You think you can't get drunk. You will. Soon. More than you can handle.

4) Vodka doesn't make you smart. At all.

5) It makes you catch the next available bus that day. To Manchester.

6) Vodka and a moving bus are the best way to fall asleep. Peacefully. Soundly....till u wake up in Manchester.

7) You will not wake up in Manchester. You will......in Leeds.

8) National Express guys are nice. They give you a free ride back to Manchester. Because you are drunk.

9) You think it is so warm and don't take a jacket. It is cold. Very cold. Even inside the bus. You realise this once you get out.

10) You get to Manchester. Finally.

11) You get up from your seat quickly. You shouldn't have. There are drunk elephants running around in your head. Playing football. Aggressively.

12) You don't think you are hungry. You are. You don't eat. You should have.

13) The aforementioned elephants are now drunk AND hungry. They are still playing football. More aggressively.

14) You see someone smoking and making smoke rings. You think it would be fun to know to do that. You might think of trying. (Let's leave the rest of that story out)

15) You have an assignment to submit in 2 days. You haven't started. You decide to start.

16) You feel creative. Very creative. You are. I said creative not intelligent. You still can't do finance.

17) Vodka is a good gambler. You make a ton of money at the Casino....then lose it. All of it.

18) You manage to make it to the bus to get back. It is freezing. You feel much more sane.

19) You listen to the iPod. The song you are listening to is "Gay Fish". You sing it out loud. You think you have a great voice. You don't. Luckily you are sitting alone.

20) You get up the next day morning with the mother of all headaches. What the fuck did you expect!!

and....that's the way it goes......

Playing bored games.....

...same old life, same old things to do, nowhere to go and no-one to go with...life, is tres boring!!

I mean today is a Monday, without school (Btw, i seem to have class for like 1 day in a week which i find very weird for a 1 yr MBA. I hear that 4 yr MBAs are more intense!!) Anywho....so it's almost like a Sunday. And on days without school i usually wake at like 3 or 4. Cos, let's face it, there is nothing to do!! but, I decided to try and change that. (I mean, how bad can it be to give it a try right?) So instead of 3 i woke up at 10. Really! (I actually set the alarm for 9, woke up and then thought, "haha..Ya right!" reset it for 10 and went back to sleep) And guess what?? I'm bored at 5 instead of 10. Basically my life has taken a step forward, literally, by like 5 hrs. And we're back to square 1!

On the bright side, i have a tip to look forward to over the next 2 days so that should kinda be better. Plus i have a book or 2 to read. (One of them is about Jesus is a sham or some such.....should be fun!!) Plus i dloaded 3 or 4 songs that i can listen to till i am bored to death of them....(Damn i'm so bored i don even know what to blog about...) So i guess that's it...

Au revoir...and what not...

Scotoma....

...the mind chooses to see what it wants to...

A friend blogged about it recently...(take a bow metzy!! Will the real metzy please stand up) and it got me thinking...how the true it is!!

think about it....everytime in life...do you really see things objectively for what it is? Or do you see that which you want to? Do you see that glass of water half full on a shitty day or do you see an almost full glass as not even full? Do u see the actions of someone for what it could be or do you see it for something that you want it to be, or for that matter what u think it is...without really knowing? Do you pass judgement? Do you trust blindly???

It's like in the Matrix, where the little kid tells NEO..."Don't try to bend the spoon instead realise the truth....there is no spoon".

It's an interesting phenomenon...really....how it all pans out and the cards fall....

Take for example the course i am in. It's shitty....no point, no real end product, no real content, no real MBA. (It's like a major money spinning mechanism. People one fine day got together and decided...hey u know what...lets see if we can squeeze like 14k pounds out of a bunch of suckers! And u know what lets actively target the countries like India where even though they cannot afford it and will have to mortgage their house, car, dog and neighbours a few times over to get the money, ppl will still raise the cash and come!!) But it's there bcos ppl like to see it as something big and people running it are convinced that it is the solution to the world's hunger problem, world peace and just about anything else you can think off. (UN goes...Damn we need to solve this issue in bahrain. Lets get a football MBA in....they are the only guys who can solve this!! Yeah right!!) But then there's me who is convinced otherwise and could well have just burnt all that money and it would have probably been the same! But that's where Scotoma kicks in.....am i looking at it that way bcos i feel so let down by the course and that all the course is not as bad as the beginning?? Is it just in my mind and maybe a more open mind would actually turn this all around and make some damn sense??

But it's never that simple is it? Academics are least of your problems though at the time they always seem so huge and everything, it's probably the easiest to deal with. Why? Cos u need marks....that's it. It's quantifiable...yeah sure it affects life...but does it really make a huge difference? The guys who do the best are guys who invaribaly leave school, college or whatever (Einstein, bill gates anyone?? Yeah i aim high. Always go big...that way when u crash u know u atleast tried!! It's kind of an antithesis that i aim high fully expecting to crash...but then...such is life)

It's the life choices that end up screwing u up! Scotoma in life...now that's a bitch. (it is actually as bad as it sounds. Scotoma of life!! Oh my god doctor??what does that mean? It means that...well ur screwed!) I mean really....when things seem a certain way, when u are sure ur getting screwed by someone (and not in the way u'd like..) being taken advantage of, but u just can't do anything about it. you know u should, u don't need to put urself through this...but no!!! u still go through it day after day after day....why?? bcos u can't help it! Mind says dude...ur screwed!! but u think that's just scotoma...it can't be that bad can it? That's not what is happening is it? Na.....it'll be alright. It's just a phase!! Wake up jackass!! ur being played like a well tuned piano i tell u!! smell the coffee (rather bad one that i make as well. I really need to find some good coffee. u know the kind that makes u wake up in the morning and go...hmmm!! anyway..i digress...). U know u get left feeling like Tom from those T&J cartoons where he gets conned by Jerry and then his head is replaced by a Jackass's head when he realises it!! (That used to be good fun. Screw work and watch T&J....haha good times...and once again...i digress...)

so what do you do? well....apparently nothing....cos common sense and logic goes out the window...so....u just keep trying to bend the spoon i guess...

Deja Vu - all over again....

.....it's that sinking feeling....all over again!

When u know u have something to do and no time to do it in, and when u want to do something and can't do it, and when u want to know what the fuck is happening but can't ask, and when u want to eat something other than cornflakes but can't!!(actually that's just one of the reasons...there's a myraid of other reasons..which i shall not dvelve into at this point in time...)

..and to add to all that mess is a presentation/assignment due in the morning and u are starting it at 10 in the night. (well the plan is to start it at 10, but doesn't look like that's gonna happen either....so looks like it's gonna be a long night!!) and it's on finance! (ever heard of the term double whammy?? Well whoever came up with that certainly didn't have this sort of experience...else it would have been multiple whammy!!)

So then what do you do?? Well u apparently blog about it like that's gonna make matters better!

but the best part of it all is that...it's all happened before! A number of times...and every time it seems worse than the last time. (well it probably is, but when ur in such a mess it all seems the same no??)

such is life....and it ends in 2 blog posts in a day? touchdown!!

(That's the ending of the Christmas for brown folks song...for the uninitiated...listen to it...it's good)

Dum Dum Dum...Dumda Dum...Dumda Dum!!

That, my friends, is cult music!

It's the music for Darth Vader during his appearances in Star Wars! (He's like a WWE wrestler. Everytime he enters he has music playing...pretty awesome stuff...)

The name's Vader, Darth Vader i tell you! Really I can't think of any other character who is half as famous as the masked villian! (And....he' also one of the most popular! You find more people who like Darth Vader than ppl who like batman or superman i'm sure. Superman ppl prolly don't like cos he wears his undies outside and let's face it...that's kinda weird...)

The only other character in the Star Wars universe who gives any competition to Darth is Yoda. ("Competition give you i will...hmmm") And Yoda of course is famous for his unique way of talking....there's just something weirdly cool about inverting sentences. think about it....you go up to someone on the street and say..."Up the Fuck Shut!!"...just sounds so much more gangster no??

But i was just watching the whole series the other day....(All 6 movies...one after the other..) and i must say...it is quiet brilliant! You have to give them credit for coming up with something like this out of nowhere and making it so big. Especially since the first 3 movies didn't even have the full on special effects abilities of the later movies! And the characters are also some of the most well fleshed out characters in recent memory in books and movies....

That also explains why they are used so much even in advertising! I have seen a number of ads using Darth especially in various ways. And it is just unbelievable funny! I'm sure it does a lot for the brand as well to have association with Darth! (I'm sure Darth is also easier to work with than JK Rowling! that lady makes a killing on Harry Potter and is a walking talking business i tell you...but then again, when u create a world with the sort of following that HP has, i guess u don't want to give it away for free...but still!! Darth trumps HP any day.....)

So then, I was wondering...who what a conversation between batman, superman, darth vader, yoda, hp etc would be like...if they formed a group like the Avengers..(2 men, 2 jedi and a potter place??)


Superman: People all over the world need help and we will provide it. We will call ourselves the Supermen! that way..

Batman: (in a husky voice) who made you the leader?

Yoda: bad your throat is. Mine too. hmm hmm. Need some help we both do.

Superman: Look. focus guys. Yoda..we'll deal with ur issues later. For now we need to ...

(Music starts..."Dum dum dum...dumda dum..dumda dum...)

Superman: Christ...Really Darth...do you have to play that tape everytime you walk in. It's getting on my nerves..

DV: (Heavy breathing) don't underestimate the power of the dark side...

HP: Ok. Look i need to go beat this voldermort guy. and flirt with hermione while pretending that i would like her to get together with Ron, and there's ginny also.. Life's complicated as hell as it is...I really don't need this u know..

Yoda: 99 problems i have, but a bitch ain't one....

Batman: Alfred, get me some coffee please...looks like this will take a while...

Superman: Ok everybody..settle down. Right. Look i'm the leader bcos i can fly faster than a speeding bullet..and i'm the man of steel. and i...ahhhh...ahhh....

Yoda: Stop choking superman u must, darth vader.

HP: Yeah come on man....Expelliarmus!! (DV's arm comes off). Oh crap. Sorry....i forgot u have a prosthetic arm...

(Meanwhile, Alfred comes with coffee for everybody)

Yoda: Hmm Hmm..The force is strong in this coffee...like it I do...hmm hmm

(Suddenly...there' a crash and the roof collapses and Agent Smith comes through...)

Agent Smith: Hello Mr. Anderson! We meet again...our fates are....wait a min...what the hell..who are you guys? Where's NEO?

HP: You're in the wrong set. The Matrix set is next door.

Yoda: Dark glasses you wear i see. to the dark side you have gone...

DV: (Removing light saber) There's only one way to settle this...

Superman: Settle what? GOD! DV...you need to chill man!!

HP: Ok that's it i'm leaving...Accio Broomstick!



So as you can see...this isn't going to work...so i guess we can just stay happy about the avengers..

Anywho..that's it for now...see you all next time i will...

Diary of an addict....

....gambling addict that is!

Yes! Me! Gambling! i tell you how the world can change quickly. (One fine day its all good, life is great and then BAM!! you don't even know what hit you and life is pear shaped and ur going down a hill without brakes on a rickety vehicle to certain gloom and doom till things go boom.....only this time not in Dexter's lab)

So how u ask. Ah!! cher ami.....just like that i say!

It all started with a rather innocuous trip to Leeds for a day. (Don't ask why...i think i just needed to get out...) So then here i was walking around in leeds chilling (quite literally), shopping in the market, walking the city and u know other general touristy stuff. Then i watched the derby at a local pub. Which was rather fun...and then...well yeah that's where the aforementioned BAM! happens (even though the aforementioned BAM! is relating to something else entirely, but the basic principal is the same...)Well, i basically had nothing else to do. Really! I had time till 9 in the evening. It was 3. So then what does one do? So i said "what the hell, lets visit casino"....(No really...those were the precise words i said... Aloud.... To myself... I tend to do that when nobody is around. I find myself to be a good listener. The only problem is that people tend to be around more often than i think...and then ofcourse they think i'm weird)

So i go to casino, register and all that and get chips worth 25 pounds. To a novice gambler, that is a lot of chips! trust me. U feel like ur gonna win before u even start. Why? bcos u have like 50 chips!! (each chip is half a pound) So then i start, tentatively at roulette. and voila! I win! And i win again! and again! till i think..."Shit! this stuff is simple. how do idots manage to lose money!!" (And i realise later that, that sort of thinking is precisely why people lose money!! We'll get to that in a bit)

So then finally i leave at around 9 having made a cart load compared to the 25 i started with! (Not a real cart load. And cart load in my terms which would technically be anything more than 25, but here it really was more than 25...but lets stay off numbers.....ooh what the fuck..it was 120! I know!!) So then, i think..."Lets try this more often. That way no part time work!! (Refer to previous post about how part time work sucks etc etc) So then i play! again! the next day! And?? BAM!! just like that i lose 30 pounds! so....moral of the story.....get a life....don gamble. U will lose! There aren't so many successful casinos bcos people win.....the house always wins! (And no not ur house....so don't bet ur house....u will lose it) So do something more constructive....like sleep, or read, or write a blog....

But if u look at it....i did make over 100 and lose 30 over the 2 days...so technically, i am still in the positive....so i can still...No No! must stop. Should not gamble! (Frustrated hitting of head against wall and holding onto something to stop legs from walking back to casino!) no no no no!!!!

"Can i have chips for 40 pounds please??" And it begins....again....

à tout le monde.....à tous mes amis....

.....ou est le soleil? i mean really? where is the sun? I haven't seen it in like....oooh there it is....Just as i Say i haven't seen it in ages. It's so nice and bright. the advantages of having an east facing room i tell you and it's .....Oh come on!! It's gone again??

Such is life in the land of the queen. I heard somewhere recently that Britain used to be called the "Kingdom on which the sun never set", but it's actually the "Kingdom where the sun never rises". True True....

Anyways.....

So the first para has nothing to do with the title of the blog...After writing the title the first phrase (Ou est le soleil...for those with short term memory loss) came to mind. It was made famous by Lance Armstrong on the Tour de france on a particularly rainy day. So i though...hey!! why not crap about it hanh?? And there were words...(Not particularly making sense, but words nevertheless...)

So whats the post about anyway? Nothing in particular i must admit....just a random title for a random post on a blog full of random thoughts....got a nice ring to it, don't it?

incidentally it also a song by Megadeth. Which brings me to comment on the fact that I am out of songs. Really! I am tired of my current collection. Well not tired. I still enjoy them a lot, but I need some new stuff. I have been adding songs little by little, title by title, over the years, but it's time for "a step change" (in management lingo. See ma i am studying!!). I need to add like a new artist, or album, or genre. I have a whole lot of genres already, but am still far from having a lot of really good music out there.

The best part of the sources of my music has been that they have rarely been conventional. A lot of my better songs have been collected after hearing them on the OST of a movie or series or some such! I tell you...the amount of time i have spent after watching a movie trying to figure out what a particular song is and dloading it! I have actually sat thru credits at cinemas to read the song title or artist. Sometimes, I have tried to memorise the lyrics to come back and then google it! Scavenger hunt at a whole new level i tell you!

Anyway, of late though I am watching more series online (All hail high speed broadband!!) I still don't have ideas for any new music.

the other thing on my mind has been dum dum dum...dumda dum dumda dum!! Darth Vader!! But that deserves a whole new post....so I shall write sometime soon!

Till then....ok tata bbye!

Wherever I may roam...

....I still land back where i started....may be it has something to do with the fact that the world is round and all that...(Damn you Copernicus and Galileo!!)

Any..who....

so then I made an early morning visit to a racecourse!! Fancy right! i mean only the rich and loaded guys with nothing better to do go to racecourses right? (And to play golf..i never got the point of the game..its slow, boring and well...it's not really a game is it??) but guess what, yours truly, did just that! Before you get any ideas (of asking me for a loan...) it was to look for a job....albeit part-time. The travails of a student these days i tell you. Part time work is the only thing that can help me survive, and sometimes you have to travel at 9:30 in the morning for that! (I'll cover the pains of having to work while studying in a later post...for now...lets stay on topic...)

So then, i leave to get to this place that's just 15 mins away by train...piece of cake right? Wrong! the damn trains are shut for the day. I mean seriously, i don't make this shit up. Things actually seem to be going wrong like its a documentary on Murphy's life. (Sometimes i feel i am in this reality show with Murphy looking over and putting me through various situations to prove his theory...freaky!) So what choice do I have, but to catch the bus. Credit to the service here that they have a "Rail Replacement" service! So it's not half as bad...right? Wrong again! the bus doesn't go all the way. He drops us off near a railway station and you have to catch the train for the last 2 stops. (And as if to make some sort of morbid point, he drops me off near a jail....hmmm) So then i take a train and voila!! i'm there! (Hugs, claps and high fives all around!!)

The racecourse itself isn't too great...it's ok. the lack of horses was a major factor in giving that impression i think...

So then i'll be working at this place, so lets see how that pans out in the long term...

And talking bout travelling....i've been trying (trying being the key word here...you'll see why soon nuf) to do a europe trip. I'd be quiet the loser if i didn't inspite of being in Europe..(not that i am not one already...but hey....a guy can hope right!) But it's just so damn difficult....expensive more precisely! Actually the whole Schengen thing is the pain....i don't so much mind the costs. Apping for a Schengen is like getting a damn job! the only thing they don have is a job interview.

So why do you want to go to (insert country here)? Why should we let you go? What do you bring to the country? How long were you in the last country? What was your reason for leaving? Why did the chicken cross the schengen border? Why did the pope cross the road? What's that? because he crosses everything...hahah true true!!

Anyway...seriously....it's so much easier if ur born in like france or italy or spain or so on and so forth! You can literally decide on friday to go to another country! While i have to plan a bloody month in advance! I mean most days i don't know what i'm doing later the same day and you're asking me to plan a month in advance? If I could do that I wouldn't be here doing what I'm doing now, would i? (I know u need a little background to understand that....but i'm in no mood...so those who do..good for you...those who don't...well not like u care anyway..)

So that remains a pipe dream now....though to my credit i seem to have made a sort of plan that just needs a minor fleshing out! (Woo hoo!! More back slapping and high fives!! this is turning into a rather happy post n'est ce pas?)

right....so then let's see how all that pans out....till then...we will wait..we will see...we will hope. Why? Because without hope we don't have anything. (Or some such....don quite remember the dialogue...it's from the Matrix!)

Of things that work.....and things that don't...

decisions....decisions...decisions.......

you know that feeling.....when you have to make a tough decision, a difficult one, an important one....and you just know what to do. You know what's right...you know where you want to go with this....you know things will just work out......

more often than not....that feeling is wrong. You WILL make the wrong decision. You WILL screw up.....and life will go to hell...

Anywho...on that positive note....lets start a brand new post!!

It's been a while....life's been a bitch (as usual)....and lotsa things have happened. (Some better than others)

A new country, a new city, a new school and a new phase in life....

some of it is working....i mean a new country and city part. Its nice...different, challenging, exciting and all that goes with having a brand new experience. You njoy it. You relish it. you have craved it for so long, that you don't know what to do now that you have it.....(It's almost like when the dog chases the car, but what is it going to do when it catches it?? I mean really?? I think i read that example somewhere by the way...not mine originally. Or was it a movie....damn i'm getting old!)

I like the exploring part. yr 2011 is the "Year of travel". I have vowed...no decided...no convinced myself...to travel! I mean where ever...london, birmingham, leeds, switzerland....goa for crying out loud!! but travel i will....(If only i could find a sugar mama to fund all this by the way!) But it is something i will do. I always wanted to do that. See the world, see new places, new cultures, meet new people...well not really new ppl, cos ppl are overrated..(more on that later)...but yeah travel in general!

The studies aren't half bad either. Not exactly what i expected, but hey....screw that...i'll make what i can of it...rest can wait....

I love the high speed broadband!! fast downloads...and i can actually watch streaming content without having to wait for stuff to buffer!! woo hoo!! but i still prefer dloading for hd content. I love the fact that i can watch football matches at reasonable times. No more staying up at 3 in the morning for champs league!!

then there's the things that don't....the course, the people, the god damn weather!! Without going into too many details...on the course....i got much more than i bargained for...in a bad way! (I could write a whole blog on why....so we shall leave that for now...) People...man i miss the grp back home! ppl are honestly waaaaay overrated and invariable full of themselves and not even worth their weight in cheap stone!!! and u never know what side of them u'll see...a bit like the weather here..u never know when the sun will suddenly disappear and u'll get swept off by 80kmph winds!! (And not swept off ur feet in a nice way either!!) i guess the weather is what gets ppl also going ditsy!

but hey! it all is part of how it works out eventually....so i guess thats how the cookie crumbles, thats how the cards fall and other smart metaphors and so on and so forth because afterall...shit happens and life goes on!